223. blank space

It's a funny thing, being in Japan. I always meet people, get to know them, and once I really start liking their company, they have to leave. I can't believe it's already the last week of class, three months just went by like that. My Friday evenings were mostly spent at izakayas, drinking. But luckily, we change plans every now and then, so last Friday we went for karaoke.

I thought I wouldn't make that much friends from school but I've learnt that people always surprise you. Both good and bad. I'm definitely going to miss some people. It's always nice to know that someone is looking out for you and genuinely care about you. I was even surprised of how defensive some of my friends are when problems arose, maybe because I'm the only girl in our group, but still...

I tell myself not to get attached to people and I usually don't, but it's hard to when you see them everyday. Otchiko is leaving today and Mo is leaving this Sunday. To be honest, I'm really bummed because I really like spending time with them. They're both good guys and have been looking out for me for the past 2 months. My phone will be a lot more quiet once they are gone.

Somehow, even though I am not the one leaving, I just feel that I'm going to miss the person that I am now, this period of time, even with all the crazy things happening, my mood going all over the place and I hardly having any time to myself, it was worth it. But just as I was talking to Mo last night about being bummed out he's leaving, he said at least I have time to do my own art once again. I can't wait to start painting again, I already have something in progress and am eager to continue but I have exams this week so I will concentrate on that first.

I was surprised yet again by Otchiko last night because he told me he's really glad he got to meet us and he'll definitely miss us. It made me feel sad because I know the next time he comes back, it will definitely not be the same. Life.

I'm so glad I forced them to take purikura btw. LOL.

It's already June. I wonder what the later half of the year has installed for me, my gut feeling is always right and I just want to see how things will play out.

Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we've ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten. And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live. We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves.

- Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi