009. tokyo bound

So here I am again, about to go to bed with mixed feelings of anxiety, nervousness and excitement. I don't know why I like to psyche myself out and be scared about every little thing every time I travel alone when I know I will be just fine. Especially when I was just in Tokyo just 3 months ago and was completely fine being by myself even if I barely speak the nation's language.

I hope I get to see the guys, we've been making plans since 3 months ago and I hope those plans fall through. I'll probably have to text message Shinpei when I arrive since he is rarely on Twitter these days. Reading back, I actually can't believe I've been talking to them for about half a year now.

It's funny how life works, back then I never thought so amazing things could happen but I guess after all the heart breaks, betrayal and disappointment from the last 3 years, it's time for me to finally enjoy life instead of isolating myself and beating myself up for all the bad things that happened.

I'll see you in a week, dear journal. Pray that I'll be happy and get to see Sho because I think I still have a tiny crush on him.

x

008. girls, girls

 Aoi Yu ; Kiko Mizuhara

Gemma Ward ; Allison Harvard

Devon Aoki ; Ikeda Hirari

007. gabriel saporta

Always.

006. cupcakes & muffins

How long has it been since I had a lazy girls' day out?

Last December. I still remember clearly the things we did on that day and that day marked a new beginning for me also, because while my girl friends were talking about their boyfriends, I was on twitter having my first conversation with...

Thank god they skipped the boyfriend topic this time, I don't think I can pull through that for the 944847th time (the both of them are attached). Instead, we just caught up with each other and talked mostly about college life. Mad and Sam are going to continue in Lasalle for a Fine Arts degree while I'm going abroad for my internship soon.

It's funny, when I was in college, I kind of hated it but now I wished I actually could continue so we could graduate together. But than again, if I was still in college, so many amazing things wouldn't have happened. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I look so short next to Mad. *sobs*

Today was fun. I haven't had this much fun with my cupcake and muffin in such a long time since they were so busy with setting up their work and me, busy travelling. I amazingly didn't hear my alarm go off and was an hour late to meet them. (I don't know how the hell I can not wake up to my alarm, my sister was in her own room and she woke up to it. I sleep dead?)

We had almost the whole day together, this hasn't happened in forever. We gossiped about bitches over cupcakes, talked about music (the only people I can ever talk to music about, Sam used to love DIR EN GREY and MALICE MIZER while Mad used to love Death/Black Metal) and I told them about how my life has changed ever since I came back from Tokyo.

It's kinda amazing how much I've also changed as a person. The both of them are happy for me that I'm over depression. Apparently according to Sam, I was an emotional wreck back then. Mad said you could tell I just wasn't happy during that time because my eyes were always swollen and it looked like I barely slept or ate.

Okay, I didn't know I was that bad. I'm really thankful to everyone who's helped me get to where I am today because I've never been happier. I'm just grateful the both of them were always around when I was such a mess.

I wonder if I would find friends as amazing as this when I move back to Melbourne. Please say yes, and I will definitely miss the both of them so, so much.

005. dim, the gazette

It's been a while since I've been listening to music by albums. I've been listening too much to my what would you call it, rubbish mixture of a playlist. My playlist consists too much of hardcore, heavy, metal sounds because I use that to block out everyone's talking when I'm alone on a bus, train, shopping malls, in public.

And for the past few weeks I've been listening to nothing but softer sounds (9Goats, THE NOVEMBERS). I can't listen to soft music or may I say Indie music for too long, it drives me crazy. I needed my fix of heavy sounds again, and the first thing I wanted to listen to was DIM  by the GazettE.

Listening to this record again reminded me of how much I love the GazettE. I haven't been a fan of Japanese music or Visual Kei for very long, I only discovered this genre last year around June while I was giving up hope on English music because all the new bands were shit and all my favorites disbanded. That was really a depressing time for me.

I can't choose what's my favorite song on DIM because I really really love this album, even the ballads. I'm not a big fan of ballads so that says a lot. But I really do love how Ruki sings about despair and how everything living thing is rotting, dying and fading away in DIM SCENE. I think the band couldn't have ended this album any better. 

The concept of this album itself already draws me in, it's probably one of their darker albums and with me being so lifeless at that time, this album really did suit my mood well.

This record means a lot to me, not only did it "save" me but it also introduced me to a whole new world of music and gave me new inspiration. Without the GazettE, I wouldn't have found some of my now, favorite bands, my life also wouldn't be as interesting as it is, I wouldn't have found PZ either. I can't imagine how my life would be. Just listening to this band makes me so happy.

DIM is also my very first Visual Kei/Japanese album I ever bought. (I got it in Tokyo last year in a CD shop near my hotel.) So yes, this record really means a lot to me.

I can't remember why I chose to listen to the GazettE or how, but I'm just thankful that I did. They are my absolute favorite Japanese band. I still remember the very first time I was Japan, ( then, I still didn't know anything and I mean anything about the music), I walked pass their poster for their tour final to be at Tokyo Dome The Nameless Liberty Six Bullets in Harajuku and thought the band looked cool. Little did I know, 6 months later, this band would mean so much to me. Funny how life works, doesn't it?

004. when dad returns

Every time when my dad returns for a few days, just in that short time spent, I will never fail to put on some weight. I love the fact that I do get to eat properly (and luxuriously) again, but losing the weight is such a pain in the ass.

Each time he's back, it is always kind of the same routine, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The best way to spend time with him is through having good food and wine. He'll always bring us to some fancy restaurant everyday and if we ask, one of those days he'll cook something nice for us (meaning it's still restaurant quality because he's a chef and a damn good one at that).

This time, little sis and I begged him to cook for us since we were getting sick of having "outside" food, we really love home-cooked meals, comfort food. He cooked squid ink pasta, along with some of his "famous" garlic bread and on Sunday, he cooked fried rice with soup and chinese sausage omelet.

On Saturday, we went out for sushi because he needed to discuss some business plans with the restaurant owner, and after dinner we went to Oriole Cafe & Bar for some good coffee because he is obsessed with the coffee there.

Little sis and Dad being cute ^^

And there was where he surprised me when Bruno Mars' Lazy Song started playing, he freakin' knew the dance moves (you know the exact same one in the music video with all the Gorilla heads?), yeah, he danced to it and when they played Grenade, he asked me " this is the one where he is pulling the piano in the rain right?" Oh my god, I was laughing at him so hard for knowing these redundant things and I hate Bruno Mars by the way, but I think my dad made me hate him a little less.

I was also pleasantly surprised that he watched the whole L'Arc~en~Ciel video that I recorded last week. Normally he doesn't really want to see it or thinks its rubbish but he actually said Hyde sounds good live. I get confused with him sometimes. 

He's left back to Jakarta this morning and the next time I'm going to get to see him is probably in August when little sis and I head up there than to Bali, where we will celebrate his birthday. I can't wait for that!

Also, here is one of the silly things my sister and I love to do :

003. 9goats ; the novembers

9 Goats Black Out and THE NOVEMBERS have been on repeat for weeks and I'm still not sick of them, yet. I'm really in love with their albums, Tanatos and To (melt into). I love falling asleep to them, they provide the same warmth and comfort my other lullaby bands do.

Plus their album art work is really pretty.

My other lullaby bands include carefully picked tracks from Plastic Tree and Copeland, As Tall As Lions's Self Titled album and Death Cab For Cutie's Transatlanticism.


My favorite tracks on Tanatos is Heaven and 宛名のない手紙, and on To (melt into) is 瓦礫の上で. 
I realize I fall asleep to those songs most of the time, I guess those tracks have this weird ability to calm me down right before I drift into my dreams.

I'm also in love with the way some photographs capture them. They are really stunning and it gives you this dreamy feeling. Especially for 9Goats. I'm more obsessed over THE NOVEMBERS's hairstyles.

I know it is kind of strange but whenever I start to draw, I always pick out people with interesting hairstyles and will spend hours and hours drawing all the little details and fine lines, the messier, weirder and longer their hair is, the better for me because I like to draw out all the lines, curves and shades. As much as I find it challenging, that's actually when I'm having the most fun.

002. twenty twelve thus far

2012 has been really good to me so far and I feel like with all the good things happening, I haven't really taken a moment to sit down and think about things, let alone write about them. I feel like everything is moving a little too fast and sometimes I wish time would just stand still, especially during those special moments when I'm with  the people who I truly care about.


Since February, I've been busy travelling. The beginning of that month I was in Tokyo and by the end of it, I was in Melbourne. I couldn't ask for anything more because those are the countries I love the most and also, I went there to meet amazing people and attend gigs. 


In Tokyo, I finally met up with PLASTICZOOMS, after talking to them for quite a while on twitter. They're a nice bunch, as far as nice people go. I honestly can tell you that I got a culture shock when I attended their "Starbow" Release tour gig on 5th Feb in Shibuya. Well, I'm really used to going to concerts, small shows, gigs whatever you call them but never in Japan. So it's a whole new experience and world to me again. What's more, I was alone. So you can only imagine my feelings and uncertainty about everything.

But like I said, the guys are nice. They brought me around and we went shopping in Harajuku whilst I was in Tokyo. Also, giving me presents. Well, actually that is Sho but I was really surprised until now that he did. Mmm, and Shinpei sending me their singles and album when I'm back here in Singapore. We've been talking a lot more ever since I got back and I like how everything's been going with them. 

By the end of this month, I'll be visiting them again, so I hope everything goes well because I will be entirely alone on the coming trip.

We went back to Melbourne for yet another Soundwave because the line-up was stellar and also to settle some lodging and college stuff. Also, I was most excited to see my favorite person, Gabe. I haven't seen him for two years and I always want to see him when I get the chance.

I thought my feelings towards Melbourne changed because over the last two years that I haven't been back, I feel like I've changed drastically in interest and in everything after breakups with so many people. But no, everything proved me wrong.

I regained my interest in general rock music once more, I felt like I still belonged there, everything there just seemed perfect for me. Parties, concerts, art, food... everything. Even with the great change in interests, I feel like I would manage with it somehow when I officially move back next year.

It was so nice seeing Gabe again. He's still my favorite person ever. Thanks for embarrassing me during Cobra's set at Soundwave. I still love Gabe, no less.

I don't know when I will stop loving Cobra Starship because it has been a long 5 years and I just found an old video of us chatting away in 2007. Nostalgia!!! I literally grew up with them and am so proud of them for being this big now. So, so proud.

With all this said, I can't wait to move back to Melbourne for good and start life afresh again. 

Also, for the past few months, I've been lucky enough to attend gigs every single month. 

February ; PLASTICZOOMS

March ; Soundwave 2012 ; The Cab

April ; L'Arc~en~Ciel

I was lucky enough to attend L'Arc~en~Ciel's 20th L'Anniversary, literally my first ever jrock concert. Thanks to my uncle for getting us tickets and good seats. Little sis and I couldn't get over the fact how different it is from a "normal" rock concert. The prettiness of it, the way the band performs, everything. Especially the fans. I don't know which I hate more otakus screaming "HYDE-CHANNNNNNN!" or wannabes at rock concerts.  

Their show lasted for about 2 hours if I'm not mistaken. We left early because we wanted to get ice-cream but ended up having Starbucks.

Other than concerts, I'm really happy with where my art is heading even though I haven't drawn anything for a while now since I'm running really low on inspiration. Recently, I found out one of my favorite models, Kiko Mizuhara, used my artwork as her profile picture on instagram. I was ecstatic when I found out and I tried to "contact" her for a while but it didn't seem to work. So I just decided to tweet her one day and she replied! 

I was really happy that day.

So it seems 2012 has been really kind to me so far and I can't believe it's already May. I am thankful for everything, especially all the amazing people I got to meet this year, whether it's through internet or just randomly bumping into people, I am thankful that some of them are a part of my life now. If I told myself last year I'll be this happy, I'll never believe it since I was really really down last year. 

The only thing about this year is that, I'm on my own most of the time. Although it can get lonely sometimes, I am actually enjoying it. I feel like all these things wouldn't have happened either if I was with people. So it benefits I guess. 

Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself" will be my anthem for this year. 

001. begin

So, I've decided to start a blog on here because tumblr doesn't really give me this "I want to write" feeling about my travels and a bunch of other random happenings in my life.

Plus, there's tons of my favorite artists posting about their inspiration, art and daily life on here so I guess that'll help me keep inspired (which I am really running low of at the moment). I hope I can keep this blog for as long as possible and maybe just keep my tumblr for inspiration and the other one for some other ramblings.

I should be writing about current obsessions, inspiration, music, travels, art and daily life on here.

Wish me luck!