Latest obsession.
So over the moon I am going to see them next month with my favorite band since I was 16, A fucking Fire Inside in my hometown next month. Can't wait! <3
Friday 31 January 2014
Tuesday 14 January 2014
122. writing from
It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.
Benjamin Button
Just got home yesterday morning and decided to lay off all social networks for a day, just to take in what's here in my comfy little home, laying in bed talking to little sis and mom. It feels as though nothing has happened in the last three months but when I look at my arm with my tattoo on it, I'm reminded of how much I've changed and grown.
Of course, I was really upset about leaving Japan. I was crying for the last three nights and even on the day I left, I cried infront of Yuri. Cried some more on the bus en route to Haneda airpot, as it passed by Odaiba. I was stupid enough to listen to my favorite band on the flight and cried some more, and cried hard. My eyes were so swollen by the time I got to see little sis. She was waiting for me at the airport.
I was telling Yuri right before I left that I felt like I was leaving my happiness behind and how I thought I would never be able to be this happy again. What she said was right, the most important thing is that I've found it and know where to go to feel whole again.
Because really, I never thought I would be able to fill up that emptiness I had for the last couple of years and remember when I said I was hoping for a miracle right before I left to Nagoya for the first time? I was wrong, because my miracles were already with and infront of me the whole time.
Living in Japan has made me enjoy the simple things so much more. Honestly, Yuri and I hardly do anything exciting together (other than our Nagoya trips), but we are so contented with the little things like, looking up at the stars on Christmas and running to temples at 3am just so...
I've never been so happy for a long period of time and I'm so grateful to have met so many amazing people on this adventure. I'm not ready to end it, so it will be continued in summer. :)
Part II is going to be more crazy, fun and chaotic once I get back to the land of the rising sun. Till then...
Thursday 9 January 2014
121. nagoya-kei weekend
Last Saturday, 4th January 2014, was Tokyo Mosh Pit Vol 2. There were a total of 5 bands playing at Shibuya AX that night, but I don't really care for the other bands because I was only there for lynch. This was quite an emotional live for me because it's my last time seeing them in a long time. I think I got used to seeing them so often (every month), that I've been spoilt by it and now when I can't get to see them anymore, I feel so hollow.
They opened to JUDGEMENT which was a pleasant surprise because it's been a loooonnnggg time since they played that song and a really long story how important that song is to the band. I was happy singing along to it because it was my first time seeing them play it. Yusuke was really cute that night ^^ I didn't bother much about headbanging because I just really wanted to watch them play. They played their typical short set list - The Fatal Hour Has Come, -273.15C, All This I'll Give You, VANISH, INVINCIBLE (glad they did, one of my favorite live songs), I'm sick b'cuz luv u, MIRRORS, pulse_, NIGHT.
Mid-way during their set, I couldn't see AK because the girl infront of me was so tall, I just tilted my head, and he was so funny. He saw me and stopped playing his bass for a little bit and just stared at me. Then after that, he continued while giggling to himself. He was so funny. I was actually giggling to myself as well. lol Then after that, we exchanged a couple of smiles. It's been like this lately at their lives after I met him.
Hazuki invited BORN's Ryoga (no care) out to sing pulse_ which actually kind of annoyed me, but oh well. I feel like he butchered the song :/ Like I already said so many times, I don't really like visual~ bands. I just can't take them seriously.
When they were playing NIGHT, I was already tearing up because it meant that their set was going to end. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears because Yusuke... thankfully, I did. I was happy Hazuki kept going to the left side of the stage because that was where I always stand. So that means I got to see him a little more for the last time.
When they ended their set, I just walked out of the hall and smoked a little and left Shibuya AX not long after that. I was actually tearing so much on the walk home. I can't believe how much I actually do love them. Makes me feel so pathetic. :/
On Sunday, 5th January 2014, there was a metal special going on at Shibuya O-West. "Metallic Beauties"if I remember correctly. DEATHGAZE was one of the three bands playing at that live, that's why I decided to go. They were the first band up, so it was nice (like lynch. the day before), I didn't have to wait too long. They played for about an hour and they were good but I think they were way better in Nagoya, the last time I saw them at Club Zion. They played half of their newer stuff and half of their older stuff. I can't be bothered to remember the setlist to be honest, haha. But I really enjoyed Disgusting Eye.
Ai didn't look like he was enjoying himself at the end of the live when all the other bands came out to perform together. He was just drinking hot chocolate while the other bands were talking, lol. Was cute though. I thought it was cool they covered each others' songs and that there were 3 guitars playing at the same time, and of course 3 singers taking turns to sing parts of the song... I couldn't see what was going on with the bass but I think only one bass and the other members of the bands were standing around the stage. I was still a little upset on that day, so I didn't enjoy myself that much. Still, was nice seeing DEATHGAZE again.
And while watching the other bands, I've come to the realisation that I only really like bands from Nagoya, well, except THE NOVEMBERS. I'm planning to come back to Japan in summer just so I can go to Nagoya again with Yuri one last time before she heads back to the U.S. and also, to see lynch. again. *fingers crossed* they have a tour in Japan during summer.
They opened to JUDGEMENT which was a pleasant surprise because it's been a loooonnnggg time since they played that song and a really long story how important that song is to the band. I was happy singing along to it because it was my first time seeing them play it. Yusuke was really cute that night ^^ I didn't bother much about headbanging because I just really wanted to watch them play. They played their typical short set list - The Fatal Hour Has Come, -273.15C, All This I'll Give You, VANISH, INVINCIBLE (glad they did, one of my favorite live songs), I'm sick b'cuz luv u, MIRRORS, pulse_, NIGHT.
Mid-way during their set, I couldn't see AK because the girl infront of me was so tall, I just tilted my head, and he was so funny. He saw me and stopped playing his bass for a little bit and just stared at me. Then after that, he continued while giggling to himself. He was so funny. I was actually giggling to myself as well. lol Then after that, we exchanged a couple of smiles. It's been like this lately at their lives after I met him.
Hazuki invited BORN's Ryoga (no care) out to sing pulse_ which actually kind of annoyed me, but oh well. I feel like he butchered the song :/ Like I already said so many times, I don't really like visual~ bands. I just can't take them seriously.
When they were playing NIGHT, I was already tearing up because it meant that their set was going to end. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears because Yusuke... thankfully, I did. I was happy Hazuki kept going to the left side of the stage because that was where I always stand. So that means I got to see him a little more for the last time.
When they ended their set, I just walked out of the hall and smoked a little and left Shibuya AX not long after that. I was actually tearing so much on the walk home. I can't believe how much I actually do love them. Makes me feel so pathetic. :/
On Sunday, 5th January 2014, there was a metal special going on at Shibuya O-West. "Metallic Beauties"if I remember correctly. DEATHGAZE was one of the three bands playing at that live, that's why I decided to go. They were the first band up, so it was nice (like lynch. the day before), I didn't have to wait too long. They played for about an hour and they were good but I think they were way better in Nagoya, the last time I saw them at Club Zion. They played half of their newer stuff and half of their older stuff. I can't be bothered to remember the setlist to be honest, haha. But I really enjoyed Disgusting Eye.
Ai didn't look like he was enjoying himself at the end of the live when all the other bands came out to perform together. He was just drinking hot chocolate while the other bands were talking, lol. Was cute though. I thought it was cool they covered each others' songs and that there were 3 guitars playing at the same time, and of course 3 singers taking turns to sing parts of the song... I couldn't see what was going on with the bass but I think only one bass and the other members of the bands were standing around the stage. I was still a little upset on that day, so I didn't enjoy myself that much. Still, was nice seeing DEATHGAZE again.
And while watching the other bands, I've come to the realisation that I only really like bands from Nagoya, well, except THE NOVEMBERS. I'm planning to come back to Japan in summer just so I can go to Nagoya again with Yuri one last time before she heads back to the U.S. and also, to see lynch. again. *fingers crossed* they have a tour in Japan during summer.
120. a to z
Finally, after almost a year of wanting to go to Yoshitomo Nara's cafe, I chose to go on a rainy day. I met up with Yuri at 5 at Tower Records, and we decided to go to Napoli's first to get some pizza because we were both starving. After pizza, we made our way to A to Z Cafe, which is in Aoyama.
It wasn't too far from Shibuya or Harajuku, the only thing that made it difficult was the rain but thank god for google maps! We didn't take too long to locate it, I was happy it was easier to find compared to all the live houses we try to locate in Tokyo.
It was pretty empty, so we could choose to sit almost anywhere we wanted, so I chose to sit nearer to some of his works. ^^
It wasn't too far from Shibuya or Harajuku, the only thing that made it difficult was the rain but thank god for google maps! We didn't take too long to locate it, I was happy it was easier to find compared to all the live houses we try to locate in Tokyo.
It was pretty empty, so we could choose to sit almost anywhere we wanted, so I chose to sit nearer to some of his works. ^^
The food wasn't too pricey, so I ordered pork belly with rice, eggs and yuzu sauce along with a honey cream latte. Yuri ordered caramel parfait with nuts and jasmine tea. The atmosphere was really nice and warm. The sofa was also really comfy, and A+ for allowing smoking.
We spent about a little over two hours there just chatting away, and I ordered dessert after my dinner too. It was nice to just be warm and toasty in the cafe since it was pouring outside. Plus, I get to be around Yoshitomo Nara's work, so I'm happy :D The food was really nice too.
I also decided to get one of his books over there because it's so overpriced outside Japan. I'll definitely go again, but maybe during lunch time.
Tuesday 7 January 2014
119. o' thirteen
I can't believe my year. 2013 has been as good to me as 2012 has, maybe even kinder. Most of my 2013 was spent going back and forth Japan and then finally in October, moved to Japan for a few months. Japan has always been so good to me, I will always treasure and cherish my time here.
Reading back on my resolutions on 2013, I'm proud to say I have accomplished most of them. I got my industrial piercing, tattoo, watched lynch., met Yuri and came back to Japan and even stayed for the last couple of months. The only thing that was lacking in 2013 was my art, I felt like I lost my inspiration and myself somewhere, because of that, I'm more pumped than ever to do art once I get back.
I think I made the best decisions in 2013. First, was going to the therapist and finally getting help. I honestly didn't know how bad my problem with anxiety and depression was. I always thought it was normal to feel certain ways about things. I'm glad I helped myself, after taking my pills, I feel like a brand new, happier person.
Trading my Soundwave trip back to Melbourne for lynch. in Tokyo. That trip changed me. It was the first time I got so many compliments from guys, band guys coming up to me and asking for my number. Honestly, I never thought much of myself, I never thought I was attractive in any way. So it was nice to feel pretty for once in my life. Seeing lynch. at Zepp Divercity in March had an impact on me. I've never felt so happy in my life to see any band. After being a fan of theirs for two years, that happiness I felt when they took the stage, I can't ever explain it. It only made me want to see them more.
Then, going back to Japan again in August to finally meet Yuri. I can't believe we've been talking to each other non-stop for two years online. I've never met anyone where I could just talk to forever and understand me so well. I'm so glad I've met her, I wouldn't know what I would do without her. I wouldn't even be in Japan for 3 months if it wasn't for her.
Finally going to Summer Sonic! Seeing Bullet For My Valentine, Metallica, coldrain and the GazettE! I can remember when little sis and I will always talk about going to Summer Sonic when I was still a teenager. I'm so happy to have experienced a music festival in a new country other than my hometown. My summer in Japan was psychotic! Even with the heat killing me, I was so happy. Seeing lynch. for the second time only made me even more crazy about them because for once in my life, I just let go and be crazy, hardcore headbanging, getting lost in their music. I never do it for any other band. It only made me want to see them even more which led me to staying her for 3 months.
Probably the best decision I made in my life was to stay here. I've grown and learnt so much about myself, I've grown into a better and stronger person. I got to experience Autumn, Halloween and actually liking Christmas and New Year's. Getting to know Yuri better and travelling around Japan. I'm so glad I got to other parts of Japan, especially Nagoya.
Everything started going crazy after seeing lynch. for the third time at their Freaks Addicts Tour Beyond. A few days later, I went to Nagoya with Yuri because I wanted to see DEATHGAZE and EAT YOU ALIVE and that was the day I met AK. I didn't think much about him because I liked Hazuki the most, but meeting him made me really happy. I still remember hugging Yuri and jumping around after meeting him because I was just that happy. I am surprised he was actually that nice and cute in person. ><
Travelling to a rural part of Japan was something I always wanted to do but didn't have the courage to because my Japanese is just soooo bad. Nabana No Sato was so magical, it took my breathe away. I am so thankful Yuri was with me. Finally getting my tattoo in Nagoya. I wanted it for so long, it meant so much more that it was done in Nagoya and to commemorate such a good trip. Honestly, before leaving for Nagoya I can remember myself wishing for a miracle to happen. I really didn't need to wish for a miracle because both lynch. and Yuri are already my miracles.
Coming back to Tokyo, and finally seeing my other favourite band, THE NOVEMBERS. I thought I didn't love them anymore, but seeing them live made me realise I still did and my love for them is totally different from lynch. I was filled was so much happiness seeing them play music and getting lost in it.
Then going to Kyoto and Osaka on my own. Little sis coming to visit in December. lynch.'s THE BLACKEST NIGHTMARE Zepp Tour in Tokyo and Nagoya. Meeting AK totally changed my feelings about going to their lives now. Now, he recognises me in the crowd and sometimes smiles. I never expected my favorite band to give me any form of attention but to be honest, when they do, it fills me up so much. Especially their Zepp Nagoya live. Literally killed me, made me the happiest girl. I was smiling the entire time I was on the train back to Tokyo. I'm so glad I went to Nagoya just for them. They were so happy at that live.
Going to see THE NOVEMBERS again before Christmas and bumping into Yusuke Kobayashi before the live even started. I never thought I would be able to meet anyone from THE NOVEMBERS either but, I'm just grateful I did.
Spending Christmas and New Years with Yuri was the best ones I've ever had. I've never loved Christmas and New Years so much.
Going to see EAT YOU ALIVE final live made me sad but glad I did, I never realised how much I actually loved their music. Meeting Yuri's friends after that, just chilling and realising how certain things are in such close reach really does scare me a little. And finally, falling in love with Nagoya again.
2013 was a wonderful year, and I didn't think it would be better than 2012. I love 2013. Thank you for being so kind and gracious to me, I'm going to make 2014 even better! But really, I just want to concentrate on my art now. 2014 will be the year I make it.
2013 songs of the year are both by no one other than lynch. The first half of the year's anthem is BALLAD. I still remember little sis and I walking around Shibuya and Harajuku and have lynch.'s advertisement truck drive by and whenever I would hear Hazuki's voice somewhere, my heart would jump up and we'll both start looking for the truck. I still remember seeing the truck for the first time, as it passed by me in Shibuya and I was like "lynch.!!!!" with my hand stretched out. lol. Makes me so happy when I think back. Made me so excited to see them for the first time.
The later half of the year belonged to NIGHT. It's such an epic song for lynch. to end their sets to. I always picture little sis's face smiling back at me when they play this song. We will be both singing along to it, singing to our little hearts out. Also, both of us will always be like "lynch..~~~~~" whenever NIGHT was playing on the big screens in Shibuya. As you can tell, I really do love this band.
I really hope I will be able to live up 2014. 2014 is already looking good with all my evil plans :)
Reading back on my resolutions on 2013, I'm proud to say I have accomplished most of them. I got my industrial piercing, tattoo, watched lynch., met Yuri and came back to Japan and even stayed for the last couple of months. The only thing that was lacking in 2013 was my art, I felt like I lost my inspiration and myself somewhere, because of that, I'm more pumped than ever to do art once I get back.
I think I made the best decisions in 2013. First, was going to the therapist and finally getting help. I honestly didn't know how bad my problem with anxiety and depression was. I always thought it was normal to feel certain ways about things. I'm glad I helped myself, after taking my pills, I feel like a brand new, happier person.
Trading my Soundwave trip back to Melbourne for lynch. in Tokyo. That trip changed me. It was the first time I got so many compliments from guys, band guys coming up to me and asking for my number. Honestly, I never thought much of myself, I never thought I was attractive in any way. So it was nice to feel pretty for once in my life. Seeing lynch. at Zepp Divercity in March had an impact on me. I've never felt so happy in my life to see any band. After being a fan of theirs for two years, that happiness I felt when they took the stage, I can't ever explain it. It only made me want to see them more.
Then, going back to Japan again in August to finally meet Yuri. I can't believe we've been talking to each other non-stop for two years online. I've never met anyone where I could just talk to forever and understand me so well. I'm so glad I've met her, I wouldn't know what I would do without her. I wouldn't even be in Japan for 3 months if it wasn't for her.
Finally going to Summer Sonic! Seeing Bullet For My Valentine, Metallica, coldrain and the GazettE! I can remember when little sis and I will always talk about going to Summer Sonic when I was still a teenager. I'm so happy to have experienced a music festival in a new country other than my hometown. My summer in Japan was psychotic! Even with the heat killing me, I was so happy. Seeing lynch. for the second time only made me even more crazy about them because for once in my life, I just let go and be crazy, hardcore headbanging, getting lost in their music. I never do it for any other band. It only made me want to see them even more which led me to staying her for 3 months.
Probably the best decision I made in my life was to stay here. I've grown and learnt so much about myself, I've grown into a better and stronger person. I got to experience Autumn, Halloween and actually liking Christmas and New Year's. Getting to know Yuri better and travelling around Japan. I'm so glad I got to other parts of Japan, especially Nagoya.
Everything started going crazy after seeing lynch. for the third time at their Freaks Addicts Tour Beyond. A few days later, I went to Nagoya with Yuri because I wanted to see DEATHGAZE and EAT YOU ALIVE and that was the day I met AK. I didn't think much about him because I liked Hazuki the most, but meeting him made me really happy. I still remember hugging Yuri and jumping around after meeting him because I was just that happy. I am surprised he was actually that nice and cute in person. ><
Travelling to a rural part of Japan was something I always wanted to do but didn't have the courage to because my Japanese is just soooo bad. Nabana No Sato was so magical, it took my breathe away. I am so thankful Yuri was with me. Finally getting my tattoo in Nagoya. I wanted it for so long, it meant so much more that it was done in Nagoya and to commemorate such a good trip. Honestly, before leaving for Nagoya I can remember myself wishing for a miracle to happen. I really didn't need to wish for a miracle because both lynch. and Yuri are already my miracles.
Coming back to Tokyo, and finally seeing my other favourite band, THE NOVEMBERS. I thought I didn't love them anymore, but seeing them live made me realise I still did and my love for them is totally different from lynch. I was filled was so much happiness seeing them play music and getting lost in it.
Then going to Kyoto and Osaka on my own. Little sis coming to visit in December. lynch.'s THE BLACKEST NIGHTMARE Zepp Tour in Tokyo and Nagoya. Meeting AK totally changed my feelings about going to their lives now. Now, he recognises me in the crowd and sometimes smiles. I never expected my favorite band to give me any form of attention but to be honest, when they do, it fills me up so much. Especially their Zepp Nagoya live. Literally killed me, made me the happiest girl. I was smiling the entire time I was on the train back to Tokyo. I'm so glad I went to Nagoya just for them. They were so happy at that live.
Going to see THE NOVEMBERS again before Christmas and bumping into Yusuke Kobayashi before the live even started. I never thought I would be able to meet anyone from THE NOVEMBERS either but, I'm just grateful I did.
Spending Christmas and New Years with Yuri was the best ones I've ever had. I've never loved Christmas and New Years so much.
Going to see EAT YOU ALIVE final live made me sad but glad I did, I never realised how much I actually loved their music. Meeting Yuri's friends after that, just chilling and realising how certain things are in such close reach really does scare me a little. And finally, falling in love with Nagoya again.
2013 was a wonderful year, and I didn't think it would be better than 2012. I love 2013. Thank you for being so kind and gracious to me, I'm going to make 2014 even better! But really, I just want to concentrate on my art now. 2014 will be the year I make it.
2013 songs of the year are both by no one other than lynch. The first half of the year's anthem is BALLAD. I still remember little sis and I walking around Shibuya and Harajuku and have lynch.'s advertisement truck drive by and whenever I would hear Hazuki's voice somewhere, my heart would jump up and we'll both start looking for the truck. I still remember seeing the truck for the first time, as it passed by me in Shibuya and I was like "lynch.!!!!" with my hand stretched out. lol. Makes me so happy when I think back. Made me so excited to see them for the first time.
The later half of the year belonged to NIGHT. It's such an epic song for lynch. to end their sets to. I always picture little sis's face smiling back at me when they play this song. We will be both singing along to it, singing to our little hearts out. Also, both of us will always be like "lynch..~~~~~" whenever NIGHT was playing on the big screens in Shibuya. As you can tell, I really do love this band.
I really hope I will be able to live up 2014. 2014 is already looking good with all my evil plans :)
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