207. here we go again

my vscocam account lately.

It was an eventful (mournful) week with the passing of Singapore's first founding father, Zayn Malik leaving One Direction and also a plane crashing into the French Alps. In less important news, it's my last week here in Singapore so dad came back to spend some time with the family and it has been very stressful. 

In short, I'm more than happy to be going back to Japan tomorrow and start afresh again. I'm not even there yet and I have so many things planned out already. Shows to go to, cafes to dine at, places to go, things to see... people to meet. 

It's kind of weird thinking that I'll be going to start classes soon, it's been a long time since I've had (regular/normal) classes. The last couple of years were... a blank, when I was still in  art college, my classes were anything but ordinary. Figure drawing classes, painting classes and all that, so it's strange to me to be sitting in a classroom again studying from textbooks. I'm actually looking forward to it though, I hope I won't be a bad student this time. I'm famous for being late and skipping classes.

We had a nice family dinner on Saturday evening at Catalunya which had a really nice view of Marina Bay Sands, the Merlion and Esplanade. The food was pretty good, I guess all of us were happy to try something new instead of going to Hyatt Hotel for the 933494893rd time. The cuisine was Spanish and they had interesting cocktails, I tried Alice in Wonderland (how typical of me) which had a nice mixture of coconut and Green Day (just for the namesake, haha) nothing special here, just tasted like a better version of gin lime. 

We ordered an avocado roll (pictured above 1st picture 2nd row), Octopus Catunya Style, a garden salad, the traditional suckling pig (1st row, 3rd picture) with mushrooms on the side, to finish off, we had Catalan Ice Cream (their version of creme brulee) and Torrija (similar to bread butter pudding). After dinner, we walked around for a little bit before heading home. 

Today was spent finishing up my packing. Packing is always stressful. Right now I'm all tucked in my bed ready to get a night's rest because my flight is so early tomorrow. To be honest, looking at my feed on my vscocam account just made me realised how unproductive I am here, so it's best I head back to Japan sooner. Next time I'll be writing from Tokyo, hopefully with something more interesting.

206. anastasia

gifs from ronesweasley.tumblr.com

Yesterday was a good day, I bumped into Mad in town and I finally have the Blu-ray for the 1997 animation film, Anastasia. Aside from growing up to Disney films, Anastasia has got to be my absolute favorite non Disney one as a kid. For two simple reasons : 

1. Awesome (sing-a-long) soundtrack 

2. My birth name was actually Anastasia.

This animation actually holds a ton of wonderful memories for me, I remember going on roadtrips with my then bestfriend (we lost contact long ago, since I was 14) and she would put this soundtrack in the car and we would sing along to all the songs. Her mom and my mom became good friends through us and we would always have outings where her mom would drive and she, my sister and I will be at the back of the car singing to so many soundtracks but Anastasia was always my favorite. 

All the outings stopped when we turned 10 because her mom was critically ill with stomach cancer and sadly, she passed away the year after. My bestfriend was only 11 when she lost her mother. Since then, my mom always had her over at our place until I was 14. My mom still keeps a photo of all of us, my family, her and her mom in our living room. I forgot how we lost contact but I hope wherever she is, she is doing well and I hope we get to meet again one day.

Last night was the first time in years since I've watched Anastasia and being an adult now, I appreciate it much more. The background art work in this is beautifully painted, I wouldn't say it's my favorite but still, well done. (My favorite background art work is Disney's Sleeping Beauty.) My favorite part is when Anya sings to Once Upon a December, and all the "spirits" dancing in the abandoned palace. It definitely does give a haunting feeling.

This isn't one of those films that I particularly like for the art, but more of an emotional attachment to it. I think I'll re-watch it a couple more time before going back to Japan.

Oh, before I forget, why my name was Anastasia? My mom named me Anastasia (yes after the Russian Princess) at birth but dropped it before I turned a year old because she felt it was too much, my name was Anastasia Lyana Lee and I also had two chinese names. I think she got too excited at naming her first child, haha. Yes, she also dropped the extra chinese name. I kind of wished she left it as Lyana Anastasia Lee just because I like the sound of it better than my current name.

Only 8 days till I leave again and I can feel the anxiety creeping in.

205. chapter

cafe hunting.

first meal in seoul, korea.

shimokita.

going on adventures.

if only summer was always this pretty.

my heart.

totoro hunting.

endless.

change.

All these photos are old or never posted, but I feel like this somehow was needed to be written down. It's like I'm closing another chapter of my being in Japan because a new one is going to unfold again. It's a weird feeling coming home and leaving so soon again. This time it feels much scarier than it did before and I don't know if that's a good thing.

204. black metal and kids

Yesterday was a good day, I finally got to see Mad after so many months being away. The last time I saw her was at her engagement party, which was in October. We didn't do anything exciting, we just caught up over coffee and dropped by an art supply store and book store before going for dinner, then meeting up with her fiancee. It was nice talking to her again about music and one of the reasons why I was even her friend in the first place, black metal!!!

I haven't been talking to her much about music in general in a long long time because we both were so out of the loop on things but I was telling her about some recent bands that I've been into and showed her one of the bands I like vocalist's Instagram account, and she got so excited seeing he posted some black metal stuff. Also showed her some videos from Knotfest and talked about Lamd of God. I really miss our school days and after classes we would hang out pigging out somewhere just talking about music, and I always loved listening to her stories about all the satanic rituals or how dark some of the bands she liked are.

She finally sent me some photos from her engagement, but these are the best 3 that I liked.

Hopefully we can meet up one more time before I head back to Japan. It's weird right? Being an adult, suddenly you have too little time for yourself because you are busy juggling work, your relationship, your career, future plans... so much stuff to think about. And we also got on the subject of having kids. I'm pretty sure she will have kids in the near future because she adores children but I can't say the same for me because I'm not really a big fan of having kids and being tied down. It's one thing if my boyfriend ties me down, but having kids is a totally different story.

But that is still way ahead in the future, so when the time comes, we'll talk about that subject again. 

So little time left here and I'm not sure if I am happy to head back to Japan so soon. Only time will tell.

203. feb things

To be honest, I thought my time back here will not be as busy as it actually is. I'm much busier in Japan of course but I was expecting myself to always be at home and on the computer or at the drawing desk painting away which unfortunately, I have not had enough time to do.

My initial plans of looking for a job and saving up to head back to Japan in summer has failed miserably because it looks like I'll be heading back much earlier than expected again. Nothing ever goes according to plan. As much as I love Japan and all my friends there, I actually wanted some time away to spend some time on my own, paint, get some money and also reflect on some things but with a little bit of complaining, I'm glad I'm coming back to Tokyo pretty soon.

February has been so busy!

On the first week, I was out bringing PALM (Laura's and H's friends) around Singapore. It was actually fun hanging out with a band again here, I haven't been to any shows here in almost 2 years, so you can imagine the amount of culture shock I had. To my surprise, even when studying in Lasalle which is in Bugis, I actually haven't fully explored it. It was kind of nostalgic going around Bugis to be honest and with the people with me, I can't help but to see the change that has happened since I graduated from college. With that being said, I am actually happy where I am in life right now.

I mean, I didn't even know at the other end of the street I would walk by everyday to get to school had two temples, hindu and buddhist. I must have been always rushing to class (knowing me, I probably woke up late and was already running late) and listening to some angry music to even bother looking around. 

The following week was spend preparing for Chines New Year, for the first time, shopping became a chore. I couldn't find anything I really I liked and also I HAD to get something that isn't in black, I managed to get a white blouse. Which, I don't know if I ever will wear again, haha.

Chinese New Year week was so busy because dad came back from Jakarta, anytime dad is back = no time for anything else. Also, another surprise, H had a layover here for a couple of hours before heading to Melbourne. He was with another band and his band and I'm glad I got to see him for a little bit, I was kind of bummed that I couldn't go to Australia with him but my money is too tight. At least, now I'm heading back to Japan much sooner than expected.

Chinese New Year was the usual, visiting my grandma on the first day then to my aunt's, a a couple more houses. Second day is always the most hectic, visiting dad's friends then to my grand uncle, then back to my uncle's place. Visiting my uncle's place is always the highlight of my Chinese New Year because of all the Peranakan food and Penang Laksa. This year, there were a couple of additions to our family, two of my cousins have recently gave birth and my mom had fun with my little niece. This woman was born to be a mother, I swear.

After the first two days of Chinese New Year, we spent some time with dad before he went back to Jakarta to work. We had our dinner at Hyatt Hotel on Sunday and Monday he flew back to Indonesia. Now, I'm helping little sis out with her wardrobe for her new job starting next week. At the same time, I'm handling with some of the necessary documents for my Japanese language classes, looks like this week will be pretty busy again and next week might be busier.

I still have about a month left here again and it feels as if it's not enough. I feel like I still have a lot of things left to do even if I hate it here so much. I can't believe it's going to be the end of February. Where did my two months go to?

The only thing right now I'm looking forward to in March is probably lynch.'s 10th anniversary release, I'm most excited for an illusion re-recording/new version ♡