Saturday, 28 September 2013

100. escapism

I love Jun Kumaori!

I've yet to write about my Tokyo trip in August and in 3 weeks I'm off to Tokyo again. This time I'll be in Japan for 2 months and I'm excited about it. Initially, I was going to be there for a week but when I thought things through, it would be better to stay longer since there is nothing left for me here. I've been lacking on inspiration and drive so much this year. 

Over the last two weeks, I've been spending time with Raine who got back from London (haven't seen her in a year), also went to meet up with Ryland and Alex who were here for 1world festival but was cancelled, so they planned their own DJ Sets in the end. Somehow spending time with them made me feel so nostalgic and reminded me of how far I've come ever since I've known them. No offence to the both of them but I wished Gabe was here too. I've known them since 2007 and since then, they've always been there for me. When I met my first love (one of their friends), going through depression, post-depression and even now when I'm a brand new person, they're still here and my love for them will never change. 

Hanging out with Raine made me realise that the friends I really love are so faraway from me. In 2012, my life was more colorful because I still had so many people around me but this year, its been a constant feeling of detachment. Steph is in Manila, Raine in London, even Yuri is in Japan. So really, there is no point for me staying here since the ones I have here don' even make time for me. I wish Raine could have stayed a little longer, it's nice to talk to someone who understands you artistically, about keeping the inspiration alive and how difficult it is starting out. Also of course, it's A+ when she loves Shingeki No Kyojin and Atsushi Sakurai too. 

I can't wait to experience fall and winter since they are my favorite seasons, see the love of my life of a band - lynch. again, THE NOVEMBERS (finally) and maybe some other bands. Experience new things and just getaway from everything to concentrate on myself and drawing. I just need to better myself as a person.


♪ CULTIC MY EXECUTION - lynch.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

099. moon world, buck tick


red, yellow, sunflower, orange, ultramarine, hydrangea 
red, yellow, sunflower, orange, ultramarine, hydrangea 

moonlight floating on a wave
moonlight in a deep sleep

swimming alone in a dark sea

moonlight floating on a wave
moonlight in a deep sleep

running alone through a dark sky
if only to meet you...

red, yellow, sunflower, orange, ultramarine, hydrangea 
red, yellow, sunflower, orange, ultramarine, hydrangea 

swimming alone in the deep darkness
until i meet you...

red, yellow, sunflower, orange, ultramarine, hydrangea 

Sunday, 15 September 2013

098. fuco ueda, akino kondoh

Once again, I am running dry on inspiration. I always feel this way after my trips end and when reality starts sinking in. I just hate the feeling - when all my happiness from the trips slowly fade away and all that's left are memories and this bittersweet taste on my tongue because I know I can I never go back to the person I was.

So now, I'm searching for inspiration again and I was looking through my books and stumbled upon Fuco Ueda's and Akino Kondoh's work. I really love their pencil drawings. I envy artists who can work so well with pencil, graphite or charcoal. I've always hated using them (especially charcoal) since figure drawing classes in Lasalle. I hate that whenever each drawing session is finished, anything I touch will have fingerprints on them and I hate it even more when the fingerprints won't come off of my clothes.

Fuco Ueda

 



The animation she makes are really whimsical and intriguing. I love the fact that she draws them out, frame by frame. 





Tuesday, 10 September 2013

097. returning to zero, personal

さようなら by Asa Ishino

I just bought this gorgeous illustration by Asa, just a few hours ago. She speaks to me. I feel, somewhat - that she is what I''m feeling currently and my obsession with black long sleeved shirts will never end. 

Recently, I've been thinking about life and the person that I am more than ever. I always believed that  I would have it all figured out by now, being a twenty-something young adult. But I'm wrong, as much as the next person who is trying to figure out what to do with life, I am too. I do know one thing for sure, I still want to be able to live off solely on my paintings for the rest of my life and have my work shown in galleries around the world, it's still my dream. I want nothing more. 

But honestly, for the first time in my life, I've never felt more comfortable being in my own skin. Up till last year, I was trying so hard to fit in, trying to be the person that I am not, trying to convince myself that I belong with people but really, I don't belong any where. Ever since I started to take my medication, I've never felt more alive and it finally hits me, no one can save you but yourself. All those years of searching and wanting have slowly vanished. 

You could say I have become a conceited and self absorbed human being. As unbearably selfish as it might sound, life can be quite rewarding when I'm dedicated to no one else but myself, my work and my dreams. I have to be selfish but selfish for the right reasons. 

As of now, I am still trying to find a place in this world but I do know what I like and don't like. What  love and hate. I do love lynch. a whole bunch if you didn't already know, they were there at a time when no one else was, once again, I've turned to music for life support. I couldn't be happier loving them and supporting them. When I love a band, I really really, really, whole heartedly do. 

What I can't stand : people who judge me, make fun of me, question me, people who get in the way of doing things that I really want and especially, people who don't believe in me. I'm really done with 99% of the people in my life and I have no time and energy left to deal with anyone else's crap. I find solitude and isolation quite enjoyable, I can slowly search and learn new things and just enjoy a nice cup of chai tea. 

My life consists of films, books, art, lots of music and travelling and also, collecting a little piece of my soul everywhere that I roam.

I have made plans for 2014 already and I can't wait to see them fall through. 

eazy muzik eazy suicide
evilly muzik evilly new life

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

096. im sick b'cuz luv u, tokyo

16th August 2013, Friday.

The day I lost myself because I got to see my favorite band again. Dearest lynch., I'm sick because I love you.

Both little sis and I didn't really bother about getting out of our room early. We arrived in Shibuya at noon for lunch, and after lunch, we went to find Shibuya AX. It wasn't that difficult to locate, it was just to the right of Parco. So, with still so much time to kill, we just went shopping and chilled at a cafe till it was time to get in.

The Intersection of Dogma live concert 2013, with Angelo, MUCC, INORAN, lynch. and heidi. as I read it from Angelo's twitter, sold out under 3 minutes! I just felt so lucky to have even gotten tickets if I didn't I'd be totally kicking myself.

Doors opened at 4.45pm, but we didn't care much about getting there on time since our numbers were B5 and 6 (approximately 1500 people are infront of us). Outside Shibuya AX, they were already selling merch, mostly MUCC and Angelo. Also, there were a ton of MUCC fans. I hardly saw any lynch. fans. We got in at about 5.15pm and as usual, they asked us who we came to see and bought drink coupons.

Somehow, some way, little sis dragged me from the back all the way till the 10th row. Since first up was heidi., we didn't really bother about finding a good spot just yet. There was an introduction for The Intersection of Dogma on the big screen, amazingly, it was all in English and quotes from the bible? Both of us just thought it was weird.


heidi. was pretty alright, but I really didn't enjoy their set since their fans were annoying and I'm going to be brutally honest, the guys are not good looking at all. -___- I got bored and was mostly playing with my phone and looking at the time. They only played 5 songs, which was about half an hour. After that some of the fans cleared and some girls in front of us were nice enough to let us stand in the front, she even asked us if we were here for lynch. so, little sis and I managed to squeeze our way through to the 5th or 6th row. Fucking hell, I was so bloody excited for lynch. I think I was almost shaking. 

And when they played the next interlude on the big screen and showed the word "lynch." I was screaming and jumping like some lunatic. 

Finally, the curtains were raised and Reo, Asanao, AK and Yusuke took the stage while Hazuki was the last one to get on. Once they got on stage, somehow, we got pushed to the front like 3rd or 2nd row and got pushed sideways too, so I got smacked in between AK and Hazuki >__<  I totally fangirled on the inside. They were trying to get the crowd fired up and there I was screaming and jumping in excitement. <-- you would hardly spot a wild Lyy. I'm only this insane for lynch.

They opened to ALL THIS I'LL GIVE YOU, and omg when the fast part came and Hazuki started screaming, I was headbanging and moshing like crazy. Since this song was slow then fast, slow then fast, we had to pace ourselves with the headbanging and "hand gestures." After that was -273.15 C, which is a faster paced song. Can you only imagine my headbanging? Didn't give a fuck and continued with the hardcore headbanging. 

MIRRORS was next and both of us shouted "MIRRORS!!!!" to each other. Little sis lost her shit because it was her favorite song (and she loves that PV as much as me), I was more like dancing to this since this was more melodic. After MIRRORS ended, Hazuki Mc-ed for a little bit and continued with EVILLY.

I was so happy since SHADOWS is my favorite album from them. The best part was singing EASY MUZIK EASY SUICIDE, EVILLY MUZIK EVILLY NEW LIFE. Even little sis who didn't know shit about this song, caught on after a while. I love that we would sing that and headbang at the same time. Seriously. It was sooooo gooooood. 

Next up was I BELIEVE IN ME, I'm not a big fan of this song so I took a break and just sang to the chorus. I only really liked the chorus of this song anyways. Thank god I did take a break because I could feel like I was gonna get a headache. 

After that was fucking UNKNOWN LOST A BEAUTY!!! 323u903u3jkdsfskjndk 

This was the part that I lost myself because ultimately, this is the motherfucking best song to headbang to, for the first time I lost myself in the music and just headbanged so violently I just didn't give a fuck. And jumping at certain parts, actually made me lose my balance and sprain by ankle but who fucking cares. 

Just look at that crowd, that's how it is all the time at their lives!

And because losing myself wasn't enough, they continued with PULSE_!!!! Both of us went even more insane with the headbanging (I could feel my neck almost straining at one point) since Little sis loved this song to hell and back. pulse_ is a "tradition" song lynch. plays at all their lives.

Best. Song. Ever.

I thought they were gonna be done with pulse_ but they ended their set with NIGHT. Both of us screamed like there was no tomorrow and headbanged even more violently for their last song. Literally, this was the anthem for this trip since I played this song in our hotel room every damn night. We both were singing " the blackest night, blackest night of all" back at each other, it was so fucking epic. I still can remember her face smiling back at me and that was when I knew we were having the time of our lives. 

lynch. makes me so fucking happy.

image from [ x ]


After they were done, Hazuki talked a bit more for THE NITE BEFORE EXODUS tour happening the following week, right here at Shibuya AX. Wish I could have gone ;______; I have never headbanged so violently in my life, so, thank you, lynch. for making me insane.

Little sis and I moved away from the front area since MUCC fans were coming in and decided to stay somewhere in the middle. So, there was another interlude but... INORAN was flashed on the screen and everyone went "EHHHHHH?!" including us, and there was ultimate chaos because now, the INORAN fans were trying to get to the front while the others were trying to move away.

INORAN was pretty good live, and his band was good too but we weren't really feeling the music so both of us decided to get out and get drinks. Outside of the concert hall, there were some merch stands and a smoking corner, so I had a cigarette on my own while I waited for little sis for my drink. I don't know why but I was just observing the girls smoking vs the girls not. There was actually a huge difference, I could just tell that the ones smoking were more chill and really cared about music. And it must be nice to have a smoking partner cos mine are all guys. ALL of my girlfriends don't smoke. Forever alone inhaling these cancer sticks. 

After my cig, I went to get some lynch. merch, I was hoping they would have some shirts or something but no. ): So I just bought I BELIEVE IN ME album, I promised myself to buy an album everytime I go to their live, that way I can slowly collect all of them. 

We were just hanging around the smoking area, so I met a lynch. fan I talked to on tumblr there. It's always nice to finally meet the person behind the screen! She was also with a friend, so all of us were fangirling over lynch. lol. 

Not soon after, INORAN ended and all of us rushed into the concert hall to get a good spot for MUCC. Again, another interlude... and MUCC took the stage. 

I was excited to see them again since they really did blew me away last year at JROCK EVOLUTION. They opened to their new song and omg, the fans were so crazy. Everyone started moshing, headbanging (hardcore) and some girls even got onto some guys shoulders O_O But I really love how united MUCC fans are and even if I didn't know any of their songs (again), little sis and I had so much fun just headbanging to the music. 

Tatsuro did MC for a little bit and he did the same thing as last year where he told the crowd to back up and sit on the ground and when he counts to three, everyone would jump. I swear MUCC has such good interaction with the audience all the time, that's the thing that makes them so amazing and even if I don't listen to them often, I would always want to go to their concerts because it's just too fun. I only knew Nirvana was the third song they performed and they closed to Libra. Little sis was bumped out because they didn't play FUZZ, she really wanted to see Tatsuro with the harmonica, haha.

Their set was mostly made up on lots of headbanging, moshing and jumping which only sprained my ankle even more but like I said, who fucking cares. I'm having of the time of my life and that's all that matters.

Image from [ x ]

And I was always love the fact that Tatsuro is always barefooted on stage and the way Miya plays the guitar. Little sis was also so blown away by them, she couldn't stop talking about them for the rest of the night. They are just sooooooooo fucking good. I want to see them again too ;__; They are so much better in their home turf. I would probably see them in Japan the next time if I even get a chance to.

After  MUCC ended, both of us left Shibuya AX because we were already late to meet Yuri at Ikebukuro Edge. When we met, we actually didn't do anything much but had dinner and just sat around Ikebukuro. Hahaha. What a way to end the night. 

I wish I could have seen Eat You Alive one more time but with lynch. clashing there's no way in hell I'm trading any band for them. 

Lastly, as if I didn't love lynch. and MUCC enough already. This freakin' live only made me love them even more. Especially my darlings, lynch. like seriously, I have never loved a band this much in such a long time.