さようなら by Asa Ishino
I just bought this gorgeous illustration by Asa, just a few hours ago. She speaks to me. I feel, somewhat - that she is what I''m feeling currently and my obsession with black long sleeved shirts will never end.
Recently, I've been thinking about life and the person that I am more than ever. I always believed that I would have it all figured out by now, being a twenty-something young adult. But I'm wrong, as much as the next person who is trying to figure out what to do with life, I am too. I do know one thing for sure, I still want to be able to live off solely on my paintings for the rest of my life and have my work shown in galleries around the world, it's still my dream. I want nothing more.
But honestly, for the first time in my life, I've never felt more comfortable being in my own skin. Up till last year, I was trying so hard to fit in, trying to be the person that I am not, trying to convince myself that I belong with people but really, I don't belong any where. Ever since I started to take my medication, I've never felt more alive and it finally hits me, no one can save you but yourself. All those years of searching and wanting have slowly vanished.
You could say I have become a conceited and self absorbed human being. As unbearably selfish as it might sound, life can be quite rewarding when I'm dedicated to no one else but myself, my work and my dreams. I have to be selfish but selfish for the right reasons.
As of now, I am still trying to find a place in this world but I do know what I like and don't like. What love and hate. I do love lynch. a whole bunch if you didn't already know, they were there at a time when no one else was, once again, I've turned to music for life support. I couldn't be happier loving them and supporting them. When I love a band, I really really, really, whole heartedly do.
What I can't stand : people who judge me, make fun of me, question me, people who get in the way of doing things that I really want and especially, people who don't believe in me. I'm really done with 99% of the people in my life and I have no time and energy left to deal with anyone else's crap. I find solitude and isolation quite enjoyable, I can slowly search and learn new things and just enjoy a nice cup of chai tea.
My life consists of films, books, art, lots of music and travelling and also, collecting a little piece of my soul everywhere that I roam.
I have made plans for 2014 already and I can't wait to see them fall through.
eazy muzik eazy suicide
evilly muzik evilly new life
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