227. morning glow

Yesterday's sunset was really pretty after all the rain. This morning was the first time I watched the sunrise from my apartment and I'm so glad I did. The view from my place is so calming because you can see the mountains in the distance. I'm back to my hermit self, painting away. 

I've missed just staying in, having a movie marathon, cooking, sorting out things, (actually) listening to music, reading up, sleeping and getting up at anytime I want and just plain, relaxing. The morning glow in my living room a.k.a. my studio, is also another thing I love about this place. I paint in my living room now and have scattered all my stuff everywhere. I'm still not done decorating it and still don't have an easel. Soon.

I love reading artists' interviews because it makes me feel less alone.

226. iii

Princess Tuvstarr and the Fishpond

John Bauer, c.1913

Sketchbook 5

Nomi Chi, c. 2012

Nervosa

James Jean, c. 2012

225. purple potato party

Friday was the last day of the semester. Apart from attending the closing ceremony (I only attended half, I was outside smoking because I hate stuff like this), everything else was bittersweet. We had a small get together at one of the classrooms and after that, a bunch of us went for dinner. We went to play darts one last time after dinner and took purikura! AGAIN, because I forced them to!

The last couple of months was spent almost everyday with these guys so it was really hard to say goodbye to them. John left first, and later on Kevin. Kevin told me if I ever come to Taiwan, we could meet up and he would bring me around. So, I'm looking forward to that. What makes me sad is not that I can't see these guys again because I think I will somehow make an effort to visit them but that we won't be together like this, as a group. I've never really liked hanging out in big groups but it was fun on Fridays with them. It makes me sad now looking at these photos. 

Saturday I went to meet Mo one last time and asked Laura along because he wanted to see her too. We went to And The Friet in Harajuku and we all had purple potato! It was really yummy and I'm glad there's another store near my place.  We didn't do much but hung out and just talked and it was really fun. It was the hardest to say bye to Mo because I've spent so much time with him and he's one of those friends where I can talk to forever. I'll definitely miss our random text messages till 7am in the morning and asking each other the next day at class if we've slept, we will both be zombified in class but will still hang out after, exploring places. 

I was so relieved Laura was with me if not I would have just cried or crumbled because my heart was so heavy when he left. Thank you for being there, Laura! 

I'm glad I got to meet these guys. I always say I hate people but these guys actually showed me that sometimes you have to give people a chance. I won't say it's always going to work out and that everyone is a good person but there are good people in the world, you just have to judge them for yourself. I'm going to miss the person that I was, happily going to class and seeing these familiar faces almost everyday.

It already feels a little lonely but I will be okay. It seems like the later half of the year will be more hectic because I have made plans for some art workshops and am already looking forward to a couple of tours and lynch.'s releases + autumn tour. I hope I can head home for a little bit in September to be with my family, I'll definitely have to plan my dates out wisely. 

It's semester break and I have two weeks all to myself, so I plan to paint and get back on track with my art.

224. where the clock chimes

It's already Friday. Today is going to be the last day of class and it feels bittersweet. The last couple of days was spent hanging out with friends. Monday I was hanging out with Mo, and we didn't plan to talk for so long since we had exams the next day but we ended up talking since class ended to almost midnight. We actually stood infront of Shibuya Station just talking for more than 2 hours.

Tuesday I met up with Nicole after not seeing her for more than a month, it was nice to catch up with her and talk about our favorite band. Wednesday was Mo's birthday and I met up with one other girl I have been talking to a lot from class, Nan, to get a cake for him. After class was spent at a nice cafe having taco rice with several other classmates.

Today Mo and I decided to not stay in Shibuya and I brought him to Shimbashi because I know that he's a big steam punk and ghibli fan. There's a gigantic clock designed by Hayao Miyazaki sitting on the wall of Nippon TV headquarters and I thought it was a good idea for him to see it before he leaves. The name of the clock is literally Hayao Miyazaki's Really Big Clock. We arrived just in time to catch the performance, the clock would move and there would be lights and music. I was glad to see it again after 3 years. Funny enough, the last time I saw it was also on a rainy day. Thankfully, it was just cloudy when we were there today.

After that, we roamed around Shimbashi and Nippon TV store before heading towards Hamamatsucho. I always say this and I'll say it again, I love going to Hamamatsucho because it reminds me of all the times I've came to Tokyo before deciding to live here. Mo is the same, he told me loves Hamamtsucho as well because he used to stay at a hotel near the station. So going there made him happy and nostalgic. I'm glad someone can understand how I feel about that place. We decided to go to Devilcraft for pizza since we were in the area and I'm glad we did, it was worth getting lost for, haha.

This time I got the mushroom and sausage pizza, he got the vegetarian, and we shared fries. Soooo goood. My tummy was definitely happy. The first time I came was with Laura almost 2 months ago and since then I've been wanting to come back.

We chilled for a little bit and walked down to Tokyo Tower, then to Roppongi. It was a nice chill night out. We were just talking about a ton of rubbish and it was fun. Like I already said, I'm going to miss him when he leaves. Even though it's always Otchiko, Remi, him and me, I talk to him and spend more time with him. As I write this, there's a strange kind of loneliness already starting to creep in. 

It's definitely going to be bittersweet because at the same time, I do want time on my own. My mind has been going in and out of it lately and there's so many things running through my head. Sometimes, my mind goes completely blank during conversations with him, or even other people that I enjoy being around with. I could be just tired and need some time to myself but I really don't know because some things have been bothering me lately. That's why I'm glad we have a two week break. 

I can just stay home, cook, relax and unwind. Also, the most important thing - paint.  

223. blank space

It's a funny thing, being in Japan. I always meet people, get to know them, and once I really start liking their company, they have to leave. I can't believe it's already the last week of class, three months just went by like that. My Friday evenings were mostly spent at izakayas, drinking. But luckily, we change plans every now and then, so last Friday we went for karaoke.

I thought I wouldn't make that much friends from school but I've learnt that people always surprise you. Both good and bad. I'm definitely going to miss some people. It's always nice to know that someone is looking out for you and genuinely care about you. I was even surprised of how defensive some of my friends are when problems arose, maybe because I'm the only girl in our group, but still...

I tell myself not to get attached to people and I usually don't, but it's hard to when you see them everyday. Otchiko is leaving today and Mo is leaving this Sunday. To be honest, I'm really bummed because I really like spending time with them. They're both good guys and have been looking out for me for the past 2 months. My phone will be a lot more quiet once they are gone.

Somehow, even though I am not the one leaving, I just feel that I'm going to miss the person that I am now, this period of time, even with all the crazy things happening, my mood going all over the place and I hardly having any time to myself, it was worth it. But just as I was talking to Mo last night about being bummed out he's leaving, he said at least I have time to do my own art once again. I can't wait to start painting again, I already have something in progress and am eager to continue but I have exams this week so I will concentrate on that first.

I was surprised yet again by Otchiko last night because he told me he's really glad he got to meet us and he'll definitely miss us. It made me feel sad because I know the next time he comes back, it will definitely not be the same. Life.

I'm so glad I forced them to take purikura btw. LOL.

It's already June. I wonder what the later half of the year has installed for me, my gut feeling is always right and I just want to see how things will play out.

Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we've ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten. And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live. We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves.

- Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi